


Neon nae baiorideum

by RommieAscendant



Category: B.A.P, K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-29 21:38:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12093954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RommieAscendant/pseuds/RommieAscendant
Summary: Packs are supposed to be a thing.





	1. Chapter 1

#  Introduction 

Packs are a thing. Are supposed to be a thing. How does a pack work? Well, the one thing you absolutely need is a pack alpha. Female or male, doesn't matter. Only pack alphas can give pack bites, which are absolutely necessary to form the intense bond between the members. From there it's basically just chaos. Alphas, betas, omegas. Fill your pack with whatever you want and need. 

While there is a certain way the subgenders are perceived in media and people's minds, there can be every combination you can think of. Soft and fluffy alphas, who like to cuddle all day and love to be protected and cared for, betas who are short-tempered and aggressive, omegas that will actually bite you if you try to cuddle them. I want to tell you that this is a conscious choice made by the individual person, but it's really all in your genes and hormones. 

Alphas and omegas do have something they all have in common though, and that is heats and ruts. While only females of any subgender can bear children and only males can impregnate females, alphas go into rut twice a year. It's a time of spiking hormones, overflowing confidence and the need to find a mate, or if they are already mated, conceive a child. Their hormones urge them to protect what is theirs, or what could be theirs. Having children lessens the frequency and intensity of ruts and heats both. Compared to their alpha counterparts, omegas basically go through the same hormonal cycle, just more intense. Their heats will happen four to five times a year, and where the alpha will get aggressive, they will need protection. Where the alpha's senses are sharp and on edge during their rut, an omega's mind will be clouded and dull during their heat.

Both subgenders suffer if not treated right. If their needs are not fulfilled. That's where betas come in. They, while ignoring any hormonal cycles themselves, can help both alphas and omegas recover quickly, just by staying near to them. Something something pheromones balancing their hormone levels, I really didn't listen all that well in school. Oh right! Pheromones! Scents! Every person has a noticeable scent, some more natural, like fruit or plants, some more modern, like freshly washed laundry or new books. Scents carry pheromones of different kinds, which I will not explain now because that is a topic people a lot smarter than I fill books with.

But back to the pack business. It's true, some of those are giant polyamorous relationships that could basically hold an orgy every other night, others are more like families or friends. Being in the same pack does absolutely not automatically include sexual stuff. That would be weird, wouldn't it?

Some packs are like family, with ties stronger than the ones formed by blood. They will have couples and friends both, they will have children that belong to the pack until they present a subgender. Normally, this happens when the child is not quite a child anymore, but rather a teen, aged fourteen to sixteen. Now since we know that normal is just a setting on the washing machine, there are exceptions as well. Children presenting quite early, young adults presenting very late, or simply not presenting at all, for as long as they live. The last case is a rather rare one though, often combined with not belonging to any pack at all.

Now packs can also break up, which is a sad and painful thing to happen, but it does happen, unfortunately. There are people living on their own too, without any pack at all. There are few who choose to do that, and their personalities often resemble lone wolves, working and existing best on their own. There are others, though, who would prefer the warmth and stability of a pack. You will encounter both on the journey to come. 

Just remember that there is often more to the story than it seems.


	2. All in

"Name?"

"Choi Seungmie."

"Born?"

"Yes."

An annoyed look and a sigh from the employee.

"1992."

"Presented?"

"Also yes."

Another annoyed look. 

"Alpha."

The look is surprised now. "Alpha, really?" His eyes take in her appearance: short, really skinny, messy blue hair, thick glasses, a heavy bag filled with books. Squinting eyes, a daring look on her face. "Problem with that?"

He chooses not to answer.

"Alright, leave your references over there and go through the door on your left. There you will get your basic uniform and work schedule. Also, you might want to tame that hair a little. No good in looking like a homeless person on your first work day in the ER. Also, no sassing your colleagues or any of the patients. Remember, every one of them is an emergency case and possibly dying, probably in loads of pain."

She nods and does as she's told. Working in a hospital, specifically in the ER, has been her goal, and today she finally reaches it. Where others see blood and broken bones and gross injuries, she sees accidents and victims and patients. People she can help. 

To be fair, it hasn't been her ambition to become a nurse, it's rather the fact that her parents expected that from her. Her adoptive parents, to be exact. Both being successful doctors, they expect their daughter to choose a career in medicine too. She loves her parents, she really does, but it hasn't slipped her mind that she only got to be a trainee after she promised to become a nurse too, while her younger brother is free to pursue his dream full time. Of course, he is not adopted. Perfect little Cheolie. Don't get me wrong, she loves him to death. She would do anything for him. Except for sharing food, maybe. Seungmie doesn't really share food.

But no one can deny that there was always a difference in how her parents treated her compared to her brother. She always had to work a little harder, be a little better. 

From now on, she can finally make them proud. And she will. 

The locker room is nothing spectacular. The smell of sweat and old socks that pollutes the air has probably been here for the last 20 years and will stay for the decades to come. Nothing new for her. Hastily she changes into her new scrubs, trying to brush her hair and tame it into a high ponytail next. It takes three tries, but Seungmie succeeds. 

A quick glance at the work schedule. She will be working until 6 a.m. tonight. Almost all of her shifts cover the night, which aligns perfectly with her training. Oh, right, I should tell you more about that. Vocal training, dance training, acting lessons, piano lessons, lessons covering how to behave in the spotlight, on the stage, in front of a camera. She's been doing that ever since her eleventh birthday. Now she's 22 and finished her nursing school almost a year ago, and she's still in training at the entertainment company. They're talking about letting her debut, but they've been talking about that for years now.

She's patient. She'll wait.

For now, she downs her scent suppressant for the day, followed by a gulp of water. Betas and omegas, depending on what they smell like, don't have to do that, since their smell can often help calm down patients. But she's not a beta or an omega. She's an alpha. She smells like vanilla and lemon. The lemon in her scent proved to not have any calming effect at all, rather the opposite. So it's scent suppressors for her, two pills a day, half a year at a time. Then she's off work anyway, spending her rut at home, ignoring the pills and letting her body take a break from them. 

She's happy to sacrifice her scent for her patients. Anything for them.

Today she takes care of two victims of a car accident, one kid with a nasty lung infection, several old people who fell and broke some bones, a young malnourished man, two mothers who brought their toddlers in because they swallowed coins, a couple of drunkards and her brother.

Wait.

"Cheolie?! What happened?" Carefully she removes the towel (that he is bleeding through anyway) from his arm. He's sporting a bleeding cut, about 6 to 8 cm long.

"You'll laugh at me.." He winces, turning his gaze away from the injury. "I wanted to make breakfast and my hand slipped while I was cutting an onion."

"What did I tell you about you and kitchen knives?"

"Not going to happen."

"What did I tell you to do when food needs to be made?"

"Order from somewhere or let Mingyu do it."

"So why didn't you?"

He falls silent for a moment. "It was supposed to be your breakfast. I wanted to do it, because it was for you." 

The smile on her lips is enough to calm his whirling thoughts down a little. "You're not mad?"

Now she's laughing a little. "Cheolie. It was an accident. I would prefer you pick me up from work uninjured and with a full breakfast, sure, but I'm still happy you wanted to do this for me. Now hold still, I've finished cleaning the cut. You're lucky you don't need stitches. Also, it's probably not going to scar. I'll just bandage you up and then we can leave, my shift is over in.. four minutes exactly."

He nods softly while his sister wraps bandages around his arm, fixing them in place with some tape and gives him a light kiss on the forehead. "Wait at the main entrance, I'll clock out and change my clothes. I'll meet you there."

And they do, they meet again, at five past six in the morning. It's cold, of course, it is, after all, it's supposed to be winter in February. Her old small car is parked at the far end of the parking lot, so it takes them a few minutes to even find it in the dark. She ushers her brother inside quickly before she takes her place in the driver's seat. Her car may be old but she keeps it clean and well-functioning as best as she can. Seungcheol is already starting to fall asleep again, as soon as the heating warms him up a little.

Seungmie lets her brother nap while she weaves her way through Seoul traffic. She only wakes him when they reach his dorm, and he persuades her to come up with him. It's a few minutes past seven when Seungcheol slips his key into the door, opening it quietly. 

Well, not quietly enough, it seems.

"Cheolie!!! Where on earth have you been, I was so worried – is that a bandage? What happened?"

"Hi, Jeonghan." Seungmie waves towards her brother's best friend. "He cut himself on accident and came to me to patch him up."

"Oh. Oh! Hi, noona. Thank you for taking care of him, I can take it from here."

His voice is not exactly cold, but not exactly friendly either. She knows he doesn't like her, but he's polite for the sake of Seungcheol. She's his sister after all.

It's fine if he's happy.

"Alright. I'll be over in three days, to take a look at the cut again, until then don't do anything with it. Wrap your arm in cling film before you shower, okay? Call me if you need anything. I love you, little Omega."

"Love you too, Seungseung." He mumbles, too tired to do anything else than smile when she kisses his cheek and leaves again.

The drive home takes another half hour, where she prepares breakfast and wakes up her dormmates. After making sure all of them are really awake and on their feet, she closes her door for four hours of sleep. It's nearly 8 a.m now, and training starts after lunch.

With Seungmie sleeping in her bed, there are only eight people munching on rice and eggs and veggies in the spacious kitchen-slash-living room. The only other alpha, Owen, watches silently as Yoona tries to get out of breakfast again, but his gaze stops her. "Alright, alright, I'll eat.," she mutters and picks up her bowl and chopsticks again.

They get ready for school, everyone desperately searching for socks or pencils or backpacks. Seoyoung, second oldest and a beta, writes a note that tells Seungmie to leave the dishes to her for later and sticks it to the fridge, next to a picture of all of them in matching outfits, grinning and showing V-signs, taken at their first real performance at some kind of school camp. 

The dorm is silent after everyone left. Seungmie has succeeded in falling asleep, hugging her comforter.

She gets two and a half hours before her phone starts ringing mercilessly. With a groan, she grabs it from the nightstand.

"Hello..?"

"Ah, nurse Choi. I am so, so sorry to disturb you after your shift, but I'm afraid we need you to come in again. You treated a patient last night, a young man, and he got admitted again. He kept asking and even screaming for you before we could sedate him. He's being operated on right now, but could you come in fast? He'll be out of surgery soon and we think it's best if you can be here when he wakes up.."

There are few things that really scare Seungmie. But this is about her brother, and now her mind is spinning with thoughts of Seungcheol bleeding out on an operating table, dying from shock, from infection.

"I'll be there."

She's out of bed lightning fast, just throwing on a pair of jeans and a hoodie that might actually belong to her brother, guessing from the size. 

On her way out she texts Seoyoung that she will probably skip practice because of an emergency at work. She almost falls down the stairs in her haste to get to her car as fast as she possibly can. 

Calm down. Taking a deep breath, she tries to settle her fear, stuff it into the back of her mind. She's no use to Cheol if she gets into an accident now.

While she's driving to the hospital, her mind starts swirling again. Did she not close the cut properly? Did she wrap the bandage too tight and cut off the blood flow to his hand?

Seungmie doesn't bother changing into her scrubs and almost forgets to lock her car. It's hard not to run in the corridors of the hospital, but she calmly searches for the nurse that called her. She's being led into a patient's room.

"I'm glad you got here so fast, he's not awake yet but he should wake up any minute. I'll leave you alone then."

Black hair on the hospital's white pillow. His skin is pale, his eyes closed. His tall frame seems small in the hospital's bed. An IV drips medication into his veins steadily. 

Seungmie closes her eyes and takes a deep, deep breath.

It's not Seungcheol. It's not her brother. Her brother is fine.

It's the underweight young man she treated last night. He came in because he vomited blood all of a sudden, his friend brought him in. She scheduled him to get tested for injuries in his oesophagus and stomach and calmed him down a little. He was supposed to stay in his bed but obviously, he just left after she got called elsewhere. 

Now his chart says that he indeed does have internal bleeding from his stomach. They did a small surgery, stopped the bleeding. 

According to the chart, his name is Kim Himchan.


	3. Wake me up

The voices start out quiet, and in her hazy, sleep-deprived mind she can barely understand a word they're saying. Actually, the arm that she is currently using as a pillow is really comfortable, despite its very bony appearance, although the obvious absence of a noticeable scent is slightly irritating. Everyone is just so used to everyone smelling like something. The best scent she ever experienced was hyacinth mixed with a thunderstorm. The worst was sugar and tobacco.

Once her patient's name is mentioned and the discussion raises in volume, Seungmie's mind fights for a better grasp on reality.

"... has to be up and working again by tomorrow morning, you hear me? Himchan is your responsibility, Yongguk. Don't you dare disobey the company again."

Wait, is he serious? Her patient on his own two legs again, working? So soon? Is he stupid or just an exceptionally dumb sadist?

"Alright, now go take care of this paperwork, it's the upcoming schedules. And call security to get rid of this fan there, how did they even get the news this fast, honestly.."

That's it. With all energy the nurse has left, she lifts her head from the bed, stands up. Faces the two alphas in the room. One is tall, with dark brown hair and full lips, the purple bags under his eyes telling tales of too much work and too little sleep. He smells like coffee and cinnamon, a very nice combination. The other is a little shorter but bulkier. His short hair is black and his eyes are hard. He looks decidedly more put together and healthier than the coffee guy. His classic alpha scent (leather and driftwood) is laced with anger and annoyance.

"Okay, first of all, you are all disturbing my patient's sleep. Second, I'm not a fan, I'm his nurse. He even requested me, though I have no clue why. Third, he will definitely not be out of this bed by tomorrow. His insides were bleeding, he had to have surgery to fix it, he is malnourished and by what I have been told he might have a concussion because he fell to the ground and hit his head before someone brought him here. So if you would please be kind enough to let him heal and don't actively try to kill him, it would be most appreciated. Now leave or be quiet."

The two men's reactions couldn't be more different in Seungmie's mind. While the coffee guy breaks out in a timid but bright smile, the brawny guy just scoffs. "Tomorrow, Yongguk." With that he turns on his heel and leaves the room, leaving the last remains of his scent in the room.

Yongguk gingerly sits down on the only other chair that is conveniently placed right across Himchan's bed. He watches Seungmie in a careful, but not an unkind way. She yawns again, tempted to put her face down next to her patient's hand again. But no, instead she just runs her hand through her hair and gets up, checking him over. He's still completely out of it. She envies him. 

"Will he be okay?"

This Yongguk's voice is deep, full of concern and damn sexy. Well great. Now she's attracted to him. She works hard to shoo those thoughts out of her head. Focus. 

"Yeah. If he gets the rest he needs, the food he needs and the self-worth he needs." Absentmindedly she starts stroking his arm with her small hand.  
"Why did he ask for me? Do you know anything?"

He shakes his head. "I didn't even know that he got admitted until Dae called me. He brought him here, apparently. Twice. He had to get back to the dorm to take care of his bo-- his friend. I got here with the manager." 

She nods. "His boyfriend, huh? Don't flinch, I won't tell anyone. To each his own, I don't mind. Or care. Now, what do you guys do that requires a manager?" Between her teeth, she holds a black hair tie that has definitely seen better days. She makes a clumsy attempt at a ponytail to get her hair out of her face. 

Of course, she fails. With a quiet noise, the hair band snaps and falls to the ground before she could fit it into her hair. Seungmie sighs and drops her head. Yongguk chuckles a little. He only needs five steps to get around Himchan's bed and pick up the used thing. "Can I?" She nods without lifting her head. He's surprisingly way better at taming her hair than she is.

It's nice, she has always enjoyed someone's fingers in her hair. His fingers are slim and long and they definitely know what they're doing. It's calming, it relieves a headache that is chronic enough to not be consciously realised anymore. It even makes her close her eyes. Her shoulders relax a little.

A small groan interrupts the two. Seungmie's eyes snap open again. In a moment she's there, focus fully on her patient, who turns his head. His eyelids twitch a bit before he actually opens his eyes. They're still somewhat unfocused and hazy, but he's there, he's waking up. Seungmie's training kicks in and she starts talking in her softest voice. "Welcome back, Mr Kim. Are you with us now? Can you hear me? Understand me?" It's a soft nod that he gives as a response, but a nod nonetheless. "Okay good. You're okay, you're at the hospital. You had surgery, your insides were bleeding, but you're okay now. Are you in pain? Do you need anything?" Slowly his eyes wander over to the other person standing in the room.

His reaction is prompt. Even though he was frozen while Seungmie did her thing, he's there as soon as he makes eye contact with his friend. She takes a step back, lets these two have their moment. Yongguk is something familiar to him, someone that can ground him. "What happened?" Himchan's voice is raspy and quiet, a bit higher in pitch than Yongguk's. "Daehyunie brought you here because you were vomiting blood all over the dorm floor, remember?" Himchan seems to think about that for a moment before he slowly shakes his head. "I did?" 

Seungmie watches them carefully. She wonders if their lifestyle, whatever it is, made her patient forget to eat regular meals or if he starved himself on purpose. His cheekbones are very prominent, and while that may be a desired feature in today's beauty standards, he just looks way too skinny like this. It makes her want to cook his favourite foods, whatever they may be, every day for a whole month. Until he looks healthy again. Less pale. Damn alpha instincts.

"Are you in pain?" Yongguk's deep voice interrupts her thoughts, and Himchan's nod causes her to leave the room. On her way to the pharmacy, she finds exactly who she needs. Dr Yoo Kyungsoo is one of her oldest friends and, coincidentally, also the person her parents want her to marry. So practically, he's her involuntary boyfriend. 

"Soo, can I get a prescription? Pain meds for the post-op in 312, Kim Himchan." He nods absentmindedly. "Get whatever you need, you know the drill. IV please, remember he has a damaged oesophagus and stomach." His tone is slightly condescending but friendly. "I'm not a bloody first-year, Kyungsoo. I know that." He smiles and ruffles her hair a little, but hands over the signed prescription. "See you tonight? I get off at 9 and your dad already asked me when we last saw each other outside of work." It makes her insides turn over a little. 

"I'll call you. Don't know if I have to work tonight. Long story. Thanks for this, bye!" And off she goes. It takes another three minutes until she reaches the pharmacy and gets the pain medication she needs. Four minutes later Seungmie enters the room again. Immediately she gets her gloves on and pulls up a syringe with the clear liquid. Himchan's face shows the pain quite clearly and his hand keeps moving over his chest and stomach constantly. 

While Seungmie injects the medication into her patient's IV the door opens and closes again. "Unnie, I brought you some food and your colleagues said you were here, we all got worried when you cancelled practice so I came to fi-- holy shit Bang Yongguk and.. oh god Himchan?!"

It's Seoyoung. Seungmie's fellow trainee, dormmate, beta to her alpha, second in command. Because she's the second oldest in the dorm. Currently, she's standing in the room with her mouth open, covered by her hand, in the other hand a takeout container.

"What happened?" It's Himchan's voice again, completely ignoring that a girl just entered the room. The attention shifts towards him again and Seungmie frowns. The one that speaks up though is Yongguk again. "You vomited blood, passed out, Daehyunie brought you here... Don't you remember?" Confused, Himchan furrows his brows. "Did I?" 

"Oh no... Move over please." While dread settles in Yongguk's gut, Seungmie is in work mode again. She pulls a penlight from her bag and uses it to shine it into her patient's eyes. Still frowning the blue-haired starts talking to him. She asks him for his name, what year it is, what town they're in. It takes some time for him to answer, and he visibly struggles with thinking this much. The other two are silently standing next to each other, both worried about what's happening. Carefully the beta sneaks her hand into Yongguk's, who tenses for a second but then holds it firmly.

The female alpha straightens her back again. "He probably has a concussion. I'll go and talk to his doctor, he'll be put on concussion watch for the next 24 hours. Maybe less, since he already slept a few hours since it happened. We can be glad he woke up. They'll... Maybe they'll do some tests, I don't know yet, it's the doctor's decision-- why are you holding hands with my beta?" 

Caught like deer in a car's headlights both of them let go of each other like they've been burned. Seungmie sighs. "I'm sorry. You're not mine, I know that. We'll talk later. I'll be right back." They nod and watch her leave before turning towards the bed again. Seoyoung sits down on it, softly starting to pet Himchan's hand. "Yah, Oppa, what happened? Are you okay?" His lips form a cute little smile as his fingers grab hers. "Seoyoungie... What are you doing here? Why am I in a bed? Why do I feel so gross?" 

The dread in Yongguk's stomach intensifies instantly. He exchanges a panicked look with the beta before he explains everything to his friend... again. Himchan is just as confused as he was the first two times. If a manager came in right now and told Yongguk that Himchan needs to get up and work again, he'd tell them to fuck off right away. This is serious, what if the damage is permanent? What if this only gets worse? For a few minutes, all three of them are silent.

Before Yongguk can completely spiral into overthinking things the door opens again. It's Seungmie, but she changed her clothes to a nurse's uniform, her hair still up in the ponytail from earlier. She's followed by a tall doctor wearing a white lab coat and a name tag that says Yoo Kyungsoo. He explains that Himchan probably suffered a concussion from falling down on a tiled bathroom floor. To grasp the extent of his injuries they plan on doing a CT right now, so they have to take him away. 

Panic immediately sets into the patient's eyes. He starts protesting weakly, grabbing onto Seoyoung and Yongguk. "Please, no, I'm fine, don't let them take me, I'm fine, I can work, don't leave me, please..." His two friends exchange another gaze, both starting to panic themselves. "Please, I swear, I'm alright, there's nothing wrong with me. I don't need any tests, please, ask nurse Choi, nurse Choi!!" His voice builds up to a half yelling before she's there, pushing Yongguk out of her way.

Her hands settle on both sides of his head, directing his gaze right at her, her thumbs softly stroking his temples. "I'm here. Nothing's going to happen to you. It's just one test, I promise, and I'll be with you the whole time, alright? I'm here. I've got you. You need to calm down or they have to sedate you for the CT, so just focus on me. I've got you. I'm here. I'll always be here."

It seems to work a little. His breathing slows down again, he releases the death grip on Seoyoung. Seungmie carefully sits down on the edge of his bed when he grabs onto her wrists, still holding his head in her hands, still holding eye contact. Dr Yoo starts pushing the bed out of the room, and before even two minutes pass Seoyoung and Yongguk are the only ones left in the room.

They are both silent, still in shock from what just happened, from their worry for Himchan. She is the first that clears her throat, picking up the discarded takeout box. With a sigh, she asks Yongguk to sit down and eat with her since she's fairly certain that Seungmie won't get to eat for a while. He complies and together they eat in silence, not really caring about how good the meal tastes despite having gone cold already. It's rice, carrots and bulgogi, simple but tasty and one of Seungmie's favourites. 

"So... How have you been?" He is the one that starts the conversation. "After you left TS Entertainment... I will admit that I was so angry at you. I deleted your number, from every member's phone." Yongguk doesn't look up to see her scoff. "Yes, well, thank you for that. They kicked me out, I didn't leave on my own free will, they didn't even let me say goodbye to anyone, did you ever think of that? That I had no say in this?"

Now he does look up. "I would have needed you. Any of you. You were my only friends, but you just threw me away for something I didn't do." Her voice is shaking. Yongguk gets up, crosses the distance and just wraps his arms around her. He's good with words, but sometimes it's even more powerful to just put all his emotions into something physical like a hug. Like holding her. 

It takes a few seconds before her arms do the same, holding onto his shirt like a lifeline. There is so much that doesn't need to be said out loud because both know that they missed each other like hell, that they are sorry for what happened more than a year ago, that they are both sorry for not having dealt with this in any other way. That they're glad to have each other back now.

There is one thing that does need to come up now though. "Did you... Did you go through with the whole pack thing?" she asks before sitting down again, not letting go of his hand. He winces unconsciously and shakes his head. "After you left... It wasn't the same. We were missing a beta. It all just... I don't know. We're not a pack, no. And I don't think we ever will be. We're close, really, but... Not a pack. And before you ask, I don't have a mate as well. Me and Junhongie... It didn't work out. We're okay, we're still friends of course. But not mates."

Seoyoung nods. "Me neither. No pack, no mate. My dormmates are great, I love them, we have lots of fun together. But just like you said, not really a pack." He nods as well and they let silence wrap them in once more. They're still holding hands.

"I hope Himchan will be okay." 

After half an hour the door opens again. Himchan is asleep on his bed, which is pushed in by a male nurse. Trailing behind is Seungmie, talking to someone on her phone. She writes something down on Himchan's chart before ending the call and saying goodbye to her colleague who leaves the room. Seoyoung and Yongguk hold their breaths.

"He's going to be okay. There is a little swelling-- you don't want the details, right. The amnesia is temporary. He should be fine in a day or two. He does need rest and care, which is why he'll be staying here for now. I'm on call just for him, another nurse tried to fixate his head for the CT while I got the machine ready and he completely freaked out until I was there again. So I'm his only nurse for now, although I have no clue why he's so obsessed with me. You look like you're really constipated, what is it?" Her face is tired, but alert.

Yongguk clenches his jaw. "They won't let him rest that long. They'll get him on any meds that will make him get up to perform tomorrow. The company is merciless, he won't even be able to stay here. What happens to his head if he doesn't get the rest he needs?" His worry is obvious, not only from his face or voice but also his scent. And not only his own, Seoyoung's own scent of Tigerlily too.

Seungmie sighs. "So you're idols, is that what this is about?" 

Both alpha and beta stare at her. Seoyoung starts to smile. "Yes, Unnie. They're B.A.P., I told you, you needed to do your research." Turning to Yongguk she explains that Seungmie barely has any free time between her job, practice and taking care of the younger ones at the dorm, so she barely knows the who is who of the entertainment industry.

"Well, whatever. He's coming home with us. That way I can have an eye on him. No work for him for at least four days, doctor's orders."


	4. Before the dawn

It takes a few hours to get Kim Himchan ready, to talk to his managers (a bunch of assholes, really) and clear his schedule for at least four days. They wanted to make him go on stage with an IV in his hand, inner wounds that he had been operated on and a concussion that makes him throw up every few hours. And every time there are bright lights. Which is, of course, perfect for a performer, on a stage, with spotlights and a laser show. Somehow, they are able to convince the managers and get Himchan discharged from the hospital.

When they finally reach the B.A.P dorm it's late afternoon and the sky starts to darken. Seungmie is driving her car with Yongguk in the passenger seat and the other two in the back. Himchan is half asleep, head tipped back, hand limp in Seoyoung's. Yongguk's gaze wanders between Seoyoung, still confused and a little hurt, Himchan, pale and skinny, and Seungmie, obviously very tired but also very focused on parking the car. Don't judge her. It's difficult.

She manages to do it, after a few tries. Her tired eyes flicker to the mirror, checking on her patient again before she looks at Yongguk. "Just pack him some clothes and essentials. Can you do that alone? I don't want to wake him up." He nods with a small smile and leaves the car. Seungmie leans her head onto the steering wheel and closes her eyes. Breathing out silently she lets her mind calm down, her exhaustion catching up with her now. 

A few seconds later, she startles and lifts her head again. "Move over, I'll drive. You're tired." Yongguk's deep voice is right next to her. Okay, maybe it was more than a few seconds. At least the rest of the drive goes by smoothly. Obviously, Yongguk has no problem with parking.

“There’s a lot of people living here, am I right?” Yongguk is surprised that Himchan is even awake enough to make this sort of coherent statement. “Yeah, we’re nine people. Come on, you’re going to sleep in my room because it’s the only one that offers a little privacy.” Seungmie helps him through the living room onto her desk chair, tells him to stay there while she changes the sheets so he gets to sleep in new ones. 

“Why do you work a day job while you are also a trainee? Isn’t that too much? How can you even keep up with trainee assignments?” Himchan’s voice is still a little raspy and his eyelids are heavy with exhaustion and some degree of pain. He watches the blue-haired nurse with interest and curiosity. Before she answers, her movements stop for a second. “Honestly.. I don’t. I got kicked out of three companies so far because I can’t do anything other than skip evaluation or practice when I get called in for an emergency. Like you. I got called in for you, made me miss practice today. I mostly take night shifts by now. Makes me at least miss sleep instead of trainee duties.. You know. I’m trying, but sometimes it’s not enough. It’s fine though. As long as it helps to save lives..”

He nods. Right now, he curses his inability to know what people feel by scents. He would really like to know if she really is okay with that or if this is her way of lying to herself. Pheromones are helpful for things like that, even though they’re not 100% accurate. Still, Yongguk will always sniff out if one of the younger members isn’t feeling well. He’s good like that. It makes him feel a little less useful as a hyung, but by now this feeling is normal to him.

“I’m curious too,” she says. “Why did you ask for me? Scream for me even, why was I the only one you wanted and accepted there?” She’s finished changing the sheets now and helps him, letting him crawl into the bed. Then she sits down, her hand smoothing the wrinkles in the comforter draped over him. “I don’t know, you just.. you feel safe I guess? I can’t explain it. But whenever you were there, I wasn’t scared. I was calmer.” His gaze stays on her hands, not making eye contact. That’s why he misses that fond look on her face, the slight smile she regards him with. 

They can’t talk for long before a shy knock on the door interrupts them. It’s Yoona, the maknae. “Uhm.. I just wanted to ask if it’s okay for my brother to come over? He said he has some stuff for me from my old room and loads of food my mom made..” Seungmie gets up, tells Himchan to just yell for her or text her if he needs anything. Making her way to the living room she can see that Yongguk is about to leave and she mentally checks her list of roommates. Asking for several names she gets the answer of them being over at the company’s building for extra practice and a movie night as a reward. 

“Sure he can come over, just.. Give me fifteen minutes to clean this mess a little?” Using her hand to rub her tired face she gets to work immediately, throwing away used tissues, candy wrappers and piling dishes in the sink. She thinks about vacuuming the place but the moment she thinks about that, the doorbell rings. 

Yoongi looks good with his brown hair. They all greet each other a little awkwardly because of Yoongi being younger but a sunbaenim.. Tricky situation, really. Also, he’s not as alone as expected. Jin’s broad shoulders tempt Seungmie to just lean into his arms and feel safe, be the protected one for once. He’s offered before, but there’s really no use in opening this can of worms with no real pack bond to give her any security. Again, not like he’s not offered before. Not to Seungmie directly, but to Yoongi’s sister and her friends, because according to him “you already live like a pack anyway.”

Anyway, Jin is followed by Namjoon and.. Huh. This one is new. Clinging to Namjoon’s arm is a rose-haired girl, their hands locked together tightly. They even smell similarly. They smell mated. The alpha’s scent of old books harmonizes well with the omega girl’s scent of oranges and rain. Namjoon introduces her as Soomin, his girlfriend and mate (so, let's be honest, basically his wife). She's full of energy, acting cute and talking so, so much – it takes Seungmie five minutes to be annoyed. And to feel guilty, because she's Namjoon's mate and that makes her a distant friend at least. 

After all the introductions and hugs and hellos Yoongi and Yoona start packing their stuff into the kitchen. Namjoon and Soomin talk to each other and Seokjin.. Seokjin corners Seungmie. "You need to eat more, take better care of yourself! You're the oldest of them all, they look up to you, you can't be a bad example! Look at those bags under your eyes, when was your last skincare routine? No, don't look at me like that, you will go to sleep right now. I'll take care of the food, and when you wake up you will eat. I won't accept no as an answer. God, you're as bad as Joonie and Yoongi."

Suddenly, he stops. Brows furrowing in confusion, he bows. To the senior idol in Seungmie's bed. "Uhm.. Sunbaenim.. Hello.. I didn't know.. I mean.. Please don't let me disturb you two!" With that, he turns around and leaves, closing the door behind him.

Seungmie's eyes widen, her heart beating faster. Why? Because it feels like the sun just showed itself in her room. The sound of Himchan's laugh is the best thing she has heard all week, maybe even all month. The sight of him actually laughing in a way that makes his eyes almost disappear.. She can't help but smile too. His voice interrupts her thoughts. "Does he really think we're mated? About to mate? Something like that? I mean, no offence to you, but look at you. You're a trainee. I'm an idol. And I haven't even presented as anything, never will. Ah, this is hilarious.." 

Her smile is a little cramped now. "Yeah, that would really be.." Amazing? Perfect? "..kind of weird, wouldn't it?" Forcing herself to look away from him she checks his IV. "How are you feeling now?" 

"My head hurts. But its okay I guess. Still feel some kind of hazy, is that normal?" She nods in response, turning away towards her wardrobe. He's her patient, she reminds herself. Nothing more, nothing less. She's responsible for him, but that's it. It doesn't matter that she wants to dig deeper into the reason he needed medical attention at all, or that his laugh did something weird to her mind. 

He's a patient. That's it.

Soft sweatpants and a big shirt that once belonged to her brother in hand she turns to leave the room again. It really is necessary for her to sleep, Jin was right about that. Not here though, she knows that every person needs their space. The couch in the living room will do. Himchan settles down into the pillow again and closes his eyes. His mind really does feel fuzzy and the pain from his stomach and head still manages to simmer even through his painkillers.

He does notice her lingering in the room longer than necessary, however, he doesn't comment on it. Since he doesn't give her a reason to stay, she just leaves the door open behind her (so that she can hear him calling) and settles down on the couch. They, unfortunately, don't have any pillows left and the only blanket she has is the fluffy thin one everyone snuggles up underneath on calm evenings in front of the TV. It's too thin to fully protect her from the cold that settles in at night when the heating is turned off to save energy, but that's okay.

Anything for her patients.

For once she's thankful to be on the shorter side. At least she has no problem in stretching out her legs. There's even some room left. Still, she curls in on herself, because that's just the way she sleeps. Gradually her mind drifts off, lulled to sleep by the voices in the kitchen, the sound of the busy street outside, some music in another room. Her thoughts quiet down, her whole body aching to rest.

It doesn't take long, however, for the voices in the kitchen to rise in volume. Obviously, Yoongi is scolding his sister for her eating habits. Good, Seungmie thinks, that was necessary. Yoona tends to overthink everything someone says about her, leading to feelings of inadequacy. To deal with this, she often starts skipping meals. Usually, she doesn't really get away with it, because her dormmates are too perceptive to not notice such a thing. It's good to know her brother is looking out for her too though.

As Seungmie's mind is pulled into sleep more and more, she can feel her head being lifted and laid down again, resting on something both firm and soft. Long fingers start making their way through her hair. Steps can be heard after a few seconds. Or minutes. Could be hours, she's not sure. 

"Is she asleep?" a whispered question filters through her daze. "I think so, yes. About time, too. She's a workaholic." Oh, that is Jin's voice answering. "Oh alright, let her sleep then. Her brother called, he'll be coming over later. She.. left her phone on the desk in her room." The movements of Jin's fingers falter for a second. "No offence, Sunbaenim, but should you really be up and walking around? I thought you were here because you had a concussion and needed to be monitored for a while." Well, that explains who the other voice belongs to.

His answer is what makes her open her eyes, starting (and failing) to sit up. "Did you just say your company wants you to perform tomorrow morning? You can't, it's not safe, you need time to heal." Himchan smiles crookedly. "Not so much asleep then, are you? Yeah. We have a music show recording tomorrow morning and I need to be there. I have the rest of the day off though, so no worries there. I even got permission to bring my personal nurse along with me, isn't that great? You're going to get to see a broadcasting station set before you're even close to debuting. You're welcome, no need to thank me." 

With Jin's help, Seungmie manages to get up into a sitting position. Just like countless times before that day she rubs her face to get rid of some of the exhaustion. "No, I don't even care about seeing that station. Himchan, you can't. I'm not arguing with you on this." Frowning, he gets up so he towers above, looking down on her. "Yeah, I'm not arguing either." He turns around, going back to bed. 

"You know, you should go back to sleep. I have a feeling you're going to need your energy tomorrow." Jin coaxes her into laying her head on his lap again and waits until she really fell asleep. Yoongi and Namjoon (including Soomin) signal him to leave, and only then he stops watching her. 

No need to mention it – Jin was right. Of course, he was. When Himchan wakes Seungmie up by poking her nose, it's four in the morning. He only looks slightly better than yesterday. They both get dressed, Seungmie checks over his injuries again, makes him eat breakfast before his painkillers. Without speaking a word they leave for the recording. The alpha takes note of every wince and flinch that is caused by loud noises, bright lights or fast movements. After the rehearsal, she has to stay with him while he throws up. Once he stops shaking they return to the rest of the group.

Somehow, there isn't even a manager around to support the idols. Other groups (Seungmie can see what was his name again, he's a friend of her brother..) have the staff to accompany them, take care of them. B.A.P don't have anyone but a stern alpha bodyguard who eyes Seungmie suspiciously but doesn't interfere. He's on his phone all the time. Everything else, like paperwork, is handled by Yongguk. 

And it's not the only thing she notices. The tall kid (seriously, why is he so tall) rubs his shoulders every few minutes. The shorter one seems to favour his left leg, taking his weight off of it when he thinks no one sees it. One of the others actually has a really nice scent (he smells like fried chicken and who wouldn't love that), but it is infused with the smell of cheap wine. The other one tries to compensate the mood by being overly friendly and funny. All in all, though, they are a sad sight. Worn out, exhausted, both mentally and physically. Too skinny, every single one of them.

Yongguk is the one that holds them together. His quiet smiles and soft words of encouragement give them the strength to carry on. Also, make-up helps. The stylists work their magic until every one of the six members looks as well rested and fresh as possible. Seungmie is both amazed and disgusted by their skills in deleting every trace of exhaustion and illness. 

So she does what she can to help. 

When Daehyun gets hungry, she has a (mostly) healthy snack for him, helping him battle his hangover. Yongguk loses his energy, he gets a coffee from her. Youngjae gets a headache, Seungmie is there with water and a neck massage. Junhong's shoulders require two special movements of his arms, a loud cracking sound and he's better. Jongup's left knee is a little harder to treat, but ice packs and elevating the limb relieve him of some of the pain. Himchan.. Himchan is Himchan. He doesn't listen to her in the slightest, doesn't let her help. 

She should have known this wouldn't end well.

He does make it through the actual performance, he even makes it backstage on his own. Both Jongup and Seungmie see the hesitation in his step though, both see the hand that searches for support before his face goes blank and his legs give out. 

Jongup is closer to him and prevents his head from hitting the tiled floor. Seungmie is there too, two seconds later, arranging his body in a less awkward angle, checking his pulse and breathing, his pupils too. "You should have just listened to me.." she can't stop herself from whispering. Jongup nods. "Hyung is like that. He's such a mother hen when he's responsible for someone else, but whenever something is concerning his own health.." Stroking his bandmate's hair the beta looks up at Seungmie. "Thank you. Really. Honestly. Thank you for being here, with him. He needs someone to look out for him too."

She nods, squeezes his hand for a moment. A groan from Himchan alerts them to the fact that he's waking up. "Hey, are you back with us now?" He nods to her question. Together they manage to get him upright and back to the car. 

It's almost noon by the time Seungmie settles her patient back into her bed. Jongup and Yongguk both leave after a stern talk with their friend, about how he needs to take care of himself or at least let Seungmie do it.

Himchan sighs. Closing his eyes makes his head's throbbing get a little better. A small hand brushes the hair away from his forehead. He grabs it with one of his own, just holding it. Without opening his eyes, he starts whispering. 

"I know you think I don't want to listen to you. It's not like that. I know you want me to heal faster, to get better. So.. Thank you for everything you're doing for me. I'll try to cooperate better." 

The alpha's hand squeezes his own a little tighter. 

"You're welcome."


	5. Don't wanna cry

After a while everything goes back to normal. Himchan's head heals after all, so he goes back to his own dorm. He does exchange numbers with Seungmie though, just in case he has a medical question or something.

Yongguk scoffs at that with a raised eyebrow.

In the end, she's back to working night shifts, going home, eating, getting two to three hours of sleep, then it's dance practice, vocal practice, acting lessons, etiquette lessons, depending on the day's schedule. Another two hours of sleep, then work again. Suppressants, scent blockers, all the fun stuff.

The next time her brother shows up in the hospital he's actually unharmed and does bring food. And Mingyu, who made said food. And Jeonghan. Of course. His hair is getting really long now, and it gives him kind of an elegant aura. He also does look very feminine, nobody can deny that. They spend a few minutes together, until the boys have to leave and Seungmie has to get back to work (apparently it's flu season and people are seriously neglecting the need to rest, fainting and collapsing every few minutes).

Seungcheol pulls his sister aside to tell her that their parents keep asking him if she had found a nice man yet. Seungmie rolls her eyes and sends him on his way. 

"You know they want us to marry, mate, have about ten kids? The full shenanigans." Kyungsoo grins as he leans onto the wall next to her, holding a protein bar and a bottle of water in his hand.

"I do, thanks for the reminder. Are you sure you're up for this?" Her answer is cynical. She does eat the snack and empties half of the water bottle.

Kyungsoo laughs, turns his head towards her and gives her a kiss onto her hair. "With you? Always. I seem to value my life very little, but surprisingly yes, I'm totally okay with this. Let me know if your neck is free for a mating bite anytime soon, alright? Oh, also I need you to assist me with this patient, she needs.." He keeps going on and on about complicated surgery preparations while still burying his nose in her hair every few words.

Seungmie lets it happen. They're close, so why not. Mating bites on the neck-- those are so outdated though. Nowadays the place of the bite can vary. You don't even really need the bite to mate anymore, it just happens at some point.

She ends up doing overtime, that lady with the surgery preparations was terrified and needed some extra care which she was happy to provide. As always.

Anything for her patients.

On her way out, tired and hair messier than usual, she recognizes a familiar face. He's sitting in the waiting area of the ER, pale and shaking. Smoothing out the frown on her face she approaches him carefully. "Daehyun? Hey, remember me? I took care of Himchan when.." -- "Seungmie? Oh no I thought your shift would already be over by now, I didn't.." he starts coughing and gagging, instantly throwing up as soon as she has a bucket in front of him. He's sweating now, too, and it's obvious that he has a fever.

"Come on, Daehyun, get up. Let me help you, here.." Seungmie helps get him to one of the beds they use for assessing and diagnosing the patient before they decide what to do. "What's wrong? How long have you been like this?"

What he tells her fits into her picture of how their company treats his group. He fell sick about a week and a half ago, first it started out as nothing more than an annoying cold, with coughing and sneezing. He asked for even a few hours of rest and was given none, so he kept performing as he was. He also kept getting worse. Now the coughing and sneezing is gone, but his body is weakened and can't fight the infection on its own. He has a high fever, which they tried to lower with medicine and tepid baths, but nothing helped.

By the time she had a doctor looking at him and set him up with the much needed IV containing fluids and specific medicines, two more people have arrived. None of them are his members, unfortunately. They let him rest until the exact moment his IV is finished, sign his release papers and half carry him off to another performance.

He still has the IV catheter in his hand.

Seungmie is furious. She's on the phone with Yongguk after thirty seconds, and in her car after three minutes. Having not slept herself her fury keeps her awake and alert.

At the show she is welcomed by Yongguk and Junhong with careful hugs and timid smiles. Her bag is filled with medical necessities, basically everything she could think of.

The moment she takes a focused look around, she's shocked. So many people that would need help. She doesn't have the opportunity to help all of them, but she does take care of some twisted ankles, taping them securely. Also she hands out some energy drinks and nutrition advice. All that before she even reaches the corner of the dressing room they put B. A. P. in.

Before she can open the door there's a bitter laugh coming from inside. "No, really?" Himchan's voice is unmistakable. "Just because she patched me up last time makes you think you can trust her? Honestly, she'll turn out to be like everyone else, I'm telling you. She's just after the fame herself. She'll just use us as a stepping stone. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if--"

"If what, Mr Kim? Don't worry, I'm just here to look after my patient. Nothing more." Himchan's jaw snaps shut as soon as she shuts the door behind her, setting her bag down next to Daehyun. It feels somewhat familiar, the disgust and amazement at the makeup people's skills.

Daehyun is barely even awake, and after Yongguk tells her that they have to perform in twenty minutes, she gives him a shot that helps a lot. The effect is temporary though. As soon as they're off the stage and back in their van he drifts in and out of consciousness again. Junhong insists on making the way home on Seungmie's car's passenger seat (which looks ridiculous, his knees are approximately next to his ears).

They arrive at their dorm around two. Seungmie hasn't slept in the last twenty two hours. The guys aren't doing much better. It's a group effort to get Daehyun dressed in shorts and a shirt, tucked into bed and attached to another IV.

With a soft click Seungmie closes the door to his room, joining Yongguk in the hallway. Without even saying anything he texts Seoyoung and leads Seungmie to the couch, sitting her down next to Jongup, muttering something about tea and food.

It doesn't even take two minutes for her to fall asleep on Jongup's shoulder. It doesn't take more than an hour for her phone to wake her up again. It's Seungcheol, and he's crying and frantic. Seungmie is awake in a second.

"--and he won't wake up, I don't know what happened, please, you have to help him, I don't know what to do, and he won't wake up, why won't he wake up?" Seungcheol sounds close to hyperventilating himself, and it breaks his sister's heart. Yongguk drives her over to their dorm, leaves her there and drives back to take care of his own members.

It's not Jeonghan though, which comes as a surprise to her, given how out of his mind with worry her brother is. It's Jihoon, the short but strangely fierce mastermind behind all their music. The boys found him at his desk in his tiny studio, asleep or unconscious. Everyone is worried, but Seungcheol's scent screams panic. He keeps holding onto his member's delicate hand, he keeps crying. He's devastated.

Seungmie has more work calming down her brother than calling Kyungsoo, who comes over and states exhaustion as the reason and takes care of the short composer. 

When Seungmie finally gets home though, that's when it all catches up with her. Looking at her small group of loved members, playing video games in the living room, she just stands there and weeps. Seoyoung is the first to notice, of course, and the evening ends with everyone being huddled together on the living room floor, while Seungmie makes them promise to take care of themselves. To let her know if anything is wrong, if they don't feel well or anything. She can't bear thinking about them falling victim to the merciless industry they work in. She holds Seoyoung who is immensely worried about Daehyun eversince she saw fans' posts that show the bandage hiding his IV access on his wrist during the performance. 

They all sleep through the night, thankfully. Seungmie is glad that she has a couple of nights off now. She is also glad that their managers don't force her to attend practice, they know about her work and how demanding it is.

Still, she wakes up at once when her phone vibrates on the floor next to her. 

Himchan (2.37 am):  
He's getting better. Thank you.   
Also sorry. I didn't mean it.   
Can we meet up soon? 

Seungmie (2.39 am):  
Meet up? Why? 

Himchan (2.58 am):  
I miss you.


End file.
